To Be Continued . . .

. . . every day for the rest of my life.

The scale has not fallen, it has, in fact, risen. I weighed in at 154.8. Lions and tigers and bears! O MY!

I'm RIGHT back where I started two years ago.

I keep trying. I'll do well for a spell and then gorge myself for no good reason other than the old "I wanted to" excuse. And I'm learning, that is the worst excuse of all.

So, here we go, again. I am tired of saying "here we go". I am tired of saying "again". When do I reach the point where I actually start learning from my mistakes?

Because it's not about being thin, or at least it shouldn't be. It's about gluttony. That's what it boils down to. In this land of consumption, I've learned the delicate art of consuming too much and feeling overwhelmingly complacent about it. And that really sucks.

I need some goals. So, um, abra-cadabra:

1. To run with the cliché that condones taking life one day at a time. For now, I'll fit my elaborate plans into a 24 hour time span.

2. In keeping with #1, I am going to try to blog about it every day. With my schedule, I don't know if that will happen, but I am going to try.

3. Lastly I'd like to lose 10 lbs by the time Twilight premiers. I go to see Andrea that weekend, and then Thanksgiving follows it. First, because none of my clothes fit any more. And secondly, because I'm hoping I will have established some positive habits before I begin to prepare the Thanksgiving feast.

I'm a little anxious. For the last four months I've done nothing but gain weight. If I don't change this pattern, it's not going to change itself.

So yeah, it's go time.