Weigh In #3 - and how I Feel ;)

Let's get this out of the way.

Last week:

Arm: 13

Chest: 36

Smallest part of my tummy: 32

Where my jeans usually sit: 36

Around the belly button: 38

Hips: 43

Thigh: 25

This week:

Arm: 13

Chest: 36

Smallest part of my tummy: 32

Where my jeans usually sit: 36

Around the belly button: 38

Hips: 43

Thigh: 24 :)

I lost an inch per thigh! That's pretty cool!

I weighed in at 179.6 this morning. I've been fluctuating between 181-179 - I think I am legitimately in the 170s now - but I guess only time will tell.

I'm a little frustrated with how slow this is going. I weigh more now than I ever have, so theoretically I should be able to lose weight quicker. But that's just not what's happening.

Oh wells. It WILL happen. :) I am running a marathon, not a mile (metaphorically speaking - although, I think I'd like to run a marathon someday). And it does not matter how long it takes me to cross the finish line. This journey - learning how to exercise and eat and be good to my body - is far more important.

My friend Jess commented on my last post, asking how I felt - where I am mentally. That's a really good question. How do I feel?

I feel like I have a lot more energy - I've been working out more - and I love that.

I feel ready to make this a lifetime thing. And not just a "let's get this over with so I can get back to eating" thing.

I feel like I am (slowly) becoming the person I want to be. And that feels really good. 

I feel (like I said) frustrated that the process is taking so long. Even though I feel ready to wait - to ease into the new me. The fact that it's taking so long when all of the "experts" say I should be losing 1-2 lbs a week makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong.

Still, I feel like regardless, that's okay. I'm learning. And the tools I'm equipping myself with are worth far more than the extra couple lbs per week I'm longing to shed. 

I feel like this is ACTUALLY HAPPENING. I am going to lose weight. I am going to make eating right and exercising a natural part of my life. I'm doing it right now, in fact. And that feels pretty darn amazing.

I feel like I'm sticking with it, even in the midst of these stressful times. I feel like I'm becoming more and more aware of how I use food to cope with stress. I think realizing it is half the battle! I believe that I am learning healthier ways to deal with my anxieties. That's such an essential element for me.

I feel ready to embrace the warm weather and all that goes with it. Before I put on all of this weight, I loved the heat and the beach. Summer was just the best. Since gaining, I've noticed that these 3 months have lost their luster. I feel flushed and sweaty and uncomfortable most of the time. Even though I'm not where I want to be health-wise and weight-wise, for some strange reason, I've had a change of heart. I am ready to love summer again. I am ready to jump into a bathing suit again. I feel done worrying about what others think. I am ready to love my body as it is - and recognize that though this journey is taking me to a place where I will look and feel better - I have value and worth that reaches SOOO far beyond the physical. That's hard for me to write. It's something I know I need to learn. It's something I'm learning - something I want to learn. And it's a beautiful truth.

I think that's it. I didn't even realize I felt that way until I wrote it all down. Thanks Jess, for inspiring that exercise. Priceless stuff.