Forks Tomorrow!

10th grade with our friend Tiff (who is also crazy awesome).
Spring break in Charlotte just before I moved there.

We're going to Forks TOMORROW!

Er, is it okay for me to say that I don't really feel like blogging? I'm trying to stick with this posting-mostly-everyday thing, so I'm doing it anyway. Plus, I want to post fun pictures of Andrea and I. This trip is a celebration of 16 years of friendship!

I really did want to post a quick update weight-wise, though.

I didn't make it under 170. But I did run yesterday and today. I'm losing. And I'm getting healthier, and that's what's really important. I'm around 171 - which is pretty damn good!

My new plan is to focus on maintaining while having an amazing time in Forks - sneaking in exercise when I can. I'll refocus and revamp this blog when I get back (eventually - we'll be in the process of moving, so please forgive me if it takes a few days (or weeks!)).

Andrea's first apartment in Newport News. 

Andrea's Wedding Day!

My Wedding Day!

Our 10 year high school reunion.

The beginning of Twilight mania.

Okay, we're driving to the airport at 3am, soo, GOOD NIGHT! Happy Forks Trip Day!

Caloric Epiphany!

I wrote the following more than a month ago - I had the epiphany around the 26th of July. I've decided to keep it in present tense - almost like you're looking back at a journal entry. Okay, cue "going back in time" music:

Dude! Seriously, I had an epiphany last night. The truth was so obvious that it's almost silly that it took me this long to figure it out. Almost.

I was getting ready for bed last night, thinking about weight loss and how I need to update this blog and that there really wasn't an update (I actually gained a little (in pounds and inches) on vacation) and whether or not I should anyway. I was feeling frustrated because, like I said, I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere. This blog is supposed to help get me pumped about losing weight for Forks and while I am more than okay not being at my goal weight in September when we go, I would like to lose SOMETHING. I feel like I'm stuck in an weighty mud puddle, just grinding my gears. I started debating fast weight loss and slow weight loss in my head. Supposedly, according to many "experts" fast weight loss is bad and slow is the way to go. And since gaining all of this weight I had come to believe that losing the way I did in the past - by cutting my calories down to 1200 and pushing myself to exercise a lot - had screwed up my metabolism and made me gain it all back (and then some).

So, I had surmised, slow is good. But, "slow" is not what I am doing. I am losing zero. I'm not getting anywhere. I wondered again what I was doing wrong and if it was ever healthy and safe to lose weight fast.

Of course, I did what any person in this day and age would have done. I Googled it. And that search led me to this article. And this is where my epiphany begins. :)

That was as far as I got last month - this is the rest:

I also found another article. Unfortunately, I can't find it now. But, here is the gist (and the real epiphany): imagine that you're an average 175lb person. You burn roughly 1800 calories a day just by being you. Imagine, also, that you burn another 200 calories doing the mundane everyday life things. So, that means you can eat 2000 calories a day and maintain your weight. 

But now imagine that you eat, on average, 2050 or 2100 calories everyday. You've just gained 5-10 calories in a year! 

Maybe this isn't an epiphany for you. After all, it makes perfect sense. But for me, it was groundbreaking. I always thought if I stayed at my BMR, more or less, then I would be fine. I thought I was gaining weight because my body was all out of whack! I thought eating 1200 calories a day in the past (when I was skinny) had screwed me up and been the catalyst in gaining 50 pounds. But, NO - I gained because I was, on average, now consuming about 2300 calories a day (in addition to not exercising regularly). AND SO - if I went back down to 1500 (or even 1200 for a time) I would be fine! What's more - I totally feel that I can stick to 1500-1600 calories a day if I'm eating a mostly healthy and very tasty diet.

As ridiculous as this sounds, it never occurred to me that I was simply eating too many calories!

And you know what? Since this realization, I have lost TEN pounds! The first ten pounds - those bloody pounds I've been fighting to lose for the past year - they are gone - in a month!

This is going to be my "before" picture. It was taken in May 2010.
I hovered here, at around 183 from the beginning of 2010 until
last month.

And, I think it's safe to say that I have dropped a dress size. I went from a size 14 to a 12. Now, supposedly, you lose a dress size for every ten lbs, but I think (maybe because I'm short) it's more like 15 for me. So, although I can into some 12s (like my new work pants!), I'm still in that blasted in-between phase where 14s are too big but some 12s err on the tight-fitting side. 

I've lost 5 1/2 inches total, too:

Last, er, month's measurements:

Arm: 13

Chest: 36

Smallest part of my tummy: 32

Around the belly button: 36

Where my jeans usually sit: 38

Hips: 43

Thigh: 24

Todays' Measurements:

Arm: 12.5

Chest: 36

Waist: 30.5

Belly Button: 35.5

Where my jeans sit: 38*

Hips: 41

Thigh: 24

*I realized the other day that in a lot of my previous posts I'd been mixing up the "Around My Belly Button" measurement and the "Where My Jeans Sit" measurement. The smaller number should always be the belly button one. Oops.

This will be my first "after" photo. It was taken 2 days ago,
9/2/10, about 6 weeks after my epiphany.

I'll be in Forks NEXT WEEK! My original goal was to get under 170 before I leave. I'm not sure if that's going to happen now because I have less than a week to go. But, in the big scheme of things, it's not a big deal - even if I don't reach my goals exactly when I originally planned, I feel eons more confident that eventually I will reach them.

Confession time: I haven't worked out in two weeks. :( I've been really busy (you can read all about that in my other blog) and today my stomach is all messed up. Thankfully, though, I've been maintaining. Part of the reason for writing this today was to get myself motivated again. And, assuming I start feeling better in the next day or so, these are some goals I'd like to keep in mind:

• Calorie counting - I haven't been keeping track on my phone app like I was before. I don't feel ready to stop tracking just yet - I want to make eating around 1500 calories a solid habit.
• Continuing to eat really good food - My goal here is to make it yummy. Indulge smartly, but also continue to look for really healthy food that tastes fantastic.
• Ease back into exercising - I want to find a way to fit exercising naturally into my now busy schedule. I am hoping to do it with Sadie as a part of P.E. But, I also love to Zumba!
• Keep on drinking my 90oz of water - That stuff is like gold!

That's it. An update, finally! 

I'll try to post later in the week to let you know if I reached my goal before I go to Forks. But, if I don't get a chance - I'll post when I get back.

Thanks for reading!

Weigh In #3 - and how I Feel ;)

Let's get this out of the way.

Last week:

Arm: 13

Chest: 36

Smallest part of my tummy: 32

Where my jeans usually sit: 36

Around the belly button: 38

Hips: 43

Thigh: 25

This week:

Arm: 13

Chest: 36

Smallest part of my tummy: 32

Where my jeans usually sit: 36

Around the belly button: 38

Hips: 43

Thigh: 24 :)

I lost an inch per thigh! That's pretty cool!

I weighed in at 179.6 this morning. I've been fluctuating between 181-179 - I think I am legitimately in the 170s now - but I guess only time will tell.

I'm a little frustrated with how slow this is going. I weigh more now than I ever have, so theoretically I should be able to lose weight quicker. But that's just not what's happening.

Oh wells. It WILL happen. :) I am running a marathon, not a mile (metaphorically speaking - although, I think I'd like to run a marathon someday). And it does not matter how long it takes me to cross the finish line. This journey - learning how to exercise and eat and be good to my body - is far more important.

My friend Jess commented on my last post, asking how I felt - where I am mentally. That's a really good question. How do I feel?

I feel like I have a lot more energy - I've been working out more - and I love that.

I feel ready to make this a lifetime thing. And not just a "let's get this over with so I can get back to eating" thing.

I feel like I am (slowly) becoming the person I want to be. And that feels really good. 

I feel (like I said) frustrated that the process is taking so long. Even though I feel ready to wait - to ease into the new me. The fact that it's taking so long when all of the "experts" say I should be losing 1-2 lbs a week makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong.

Still, I feel like regardless, that's okay. I'm learning. And the tools I'm equipping myself with are worth far more than the extra couple lbs per week I'm longing to shed. 

I feel like this is ACTUALLY HAPPENING. I am going to lose weight. I am going to make eating right and exercising a natural part of my life. I'm doing it right now, in fact. And that feels pretty darn amazing.

I feel like I'm sticking with it, even in the midst of these stressful times. I feel like I'm becoming more and more aware of how I use food to cope with stress. I think realizing it is half the battle! I believe that I am learning healthier ways to deal with my anxieties. That's such an essential element for me.

I feel ready to embrace the warm weather and all that goes with it. Before I put on all of this weight, I loved the heat and the beach. Summer was just the best. Since gaining, I've noticed that these 3 months have lost their luster. I feel flushed and sweaty and uncomfortable most of the time. Even though I'm not where I want to be health-wise and weight-wise, for some strange reason, I've had a change of heart. I am ready to love summer again. I am ready to jump into a bathing suit again. I feel done worrying about what others think. I am ready to love my body as it is - and recognize that though this journey is taking me to a place where I will look and feel better - I have value and worth that reaches SOOO far beyond the physical. That's hard for me to write. It's something I know I need to learn. It's something I'm learning - something I want to learn. And it's a beautiful truth.

I think that's it. I didn't even realize I felt that way until I wrote it all down. Thanks Jess, for inspiring that exercise. Priceless stuff. 

Weigh In Number "3"

Hi! It's been a while - we were on a roller coaster ride, actually! Sheer craziness. Things are starting to settle down a bit - not to mention look up! I got a real live job offer! Jermaine is joining the Army! So many exclamations marks and so little time!

I'm sure I'll be blogging about the whole thing on my other blog in the relatively near future. For now, we'll focus on the blog at hand.

It's been 3 Saturdays since I blogged. I missed the first Saturday because we went to Hershey Park (OH - that was fun!). The following week, the bottom dropped out from under us. We had to develop a new plan because our current one got smashed to pieces. Enter the Army. Again, you can read the whole thing on my other blog.

With all of that going on, I had no time to focus on losing weight. Thankfully, I didn't really gain any. I tried, more or less, to stick with my program (although punishments have flown out the window (and I have tentatively replaced them with something better - but that's for another blog, I think)).

I weighed in this morning at 179.6 (for the second day in a row!). In the past three weeks I have fluctuated quite a bit - ranging from where I started (182-3ish) to where I am now. It's hard to tell exactly where I am but, I think it's safe to say I have officially lost 2 lbs since I started this whole thing - which means the scale is going in the right direction!

Last time I measured in:

Arm: 13
Chest: 36
Smallest part of my tummy: 32
Where my jeans usually sit: 39
Around the belly button: 38
Hips: 44
Thigh: 25

Okay, let me go measure up:

Arm: 13
Chest: 36
Smallest part of my tummy: 32
Where my jeans usually sit: 36 (!!)
Around the belly button: 38
Hips: 43
Thigh: 25

Wow - I lost 2 inches in my waist! Honestly, I wasn't expecting to see any results this time around. Very cool. :)

That's it, I think. Hmm. Except that I'm reading a really helpful book right now called Secrets of a Former Fat Girl. I want to blog about it at some point. But, for now, I'll just point you to Lisa Delaney's website.

2nd Weigh In

I took the picture on the right before I went out job searching yesterday to show Andrea I was wearing the "Thirst" earrings she bought for me (they're the shades of Edward's eyes!). I like to call this picture "Job Thirst". Plus, I feel that it looks like I've lost weight in my face. :P

Last week's measurements:

Arm: 13
Chest: 38
Smallest part of tummy: 32
Where my jeans usually sit: 39
Around the belly button: 37
Hips: 44

Arm: 13
Chest: 36
Smallest part of tummy: 32
Where my jeans usually sit: 39
Around the belly button: 38
Hips: 44
One thigh: 25


Ha. Only lost two inches this week and they were both in my chest. Sigh. Was bound to happen eventually, right? ;)


STILL, I weighed in this morning at 178.6!!!! That's the lowest I've been in a LONG time!! I'll forget about inches this week and simply celebrate being more than a pound under 180! :)

Alright, that's it, I suppose. Besides this good news, today has been a tough day emotionally (for other reasons). Going to go work out how to improve it. Thanks for reading! And feel free to pray for me.

1st Weigh-In

I lost an inch!!


Last week's measurements:


Arm: 13 
Chest: 39
Smallest part of tummy: 33
Where my jeans usually sit: 40 (!!!)
Hips: 45
One thigh: 26


This week's measurements:


Arm: 13 
Chest: 38
Smallest part of tummy: 32
Where my jeans usually sit: 39
Around the belly button: 37
Hips: 44
One thigh: 25


This morning I weighed in at 181.2 - the lowest it's been all week! I haven't been the greatest at keeping up with everything - to-dos, punishments and rewards - but something's been working. :)


Going to (yet again) revamp my plan - and spell everything out so I can remember which punishment goes with what.


Thanks for reading!

I Can Do This, Right? (Yes I Can.)

Happy Memorial Day! Iffy day today. GREAT day, family and fun wise. Not so great in the food department. Blah. Tomorrow is a new day, right?

I ate more than 2000 calories - and like 300 of that was via gummy bears (which sounds a lot more gross now than it did while it was happening).

I did go swimming with Jermaine and Sadie, tho. SUPER fun. I love those guys. :)

Oy.

I guess that's about all. Just felt the need to blog about it.

Thanks for reading!

Measuring Up and Weighing In.

On a whim, I decided to go ahead and take my measurements. 


[Fun Fact of the Day: Barbie's measurements if she were life-size: 39-23-33] Yikes!


Here are mine:


Arm: 13 1/2 
Chest: 39
Smallest part of tummy: 33
Where my jeans usually sit: 40 (!!!)
Hips: 45
One thigh: 26


Right now, I weigh about 182-183.

This picture was taken about 2 years ago - on my wedding day. I weighed 135.

This picture was taken about a year ago - at my 10 year high school reunion. I weighed 165. This is not a good trend that's forming.


It's safe to say this is biggest I've ever been. I'm done beating myself up and feeling embarrassed. Here's to turning the trend upside down!


PS. I think I'm going to do weekly weigh-ins! Yeegads, I'm so INSPIRED! :)

Update.

This was a GOOD day health wise. :) I've eaten breakfast, lunch and dinner - and I still have 500 calories left before I reach 1500!

After I wrote the last blog, I decided to just do all the punishments - figuring that I haven't really done any of the things I aiming for in a while. It was fun, actually. I forgot to do the plank. But after Sadie and I ran around the house 10 times (which is a lot harder than it sounds, bytheway), I came back in and did Zumba via YouTube for 15 minutes or so. :) SUPER fun. Yay!

Boot Camp

It's soo hot. I feel sticky and yucky and I want to go take a shower and I should but I'm attempting to design my own boot camp regime. I'd like to do something exercisy today after I design it and I don't want to shower and then exercise.

So for now, I'll have to stay sticky. Bleh.

I've been seriously and not-so-seriously toying with the idea of designing a boot camp for myself for a loong time. I've also been not-so-seriously wanting to join an already-in-place boot camp program - mostly because it's fail-proof - they know what they're doing. But since I'm short on cash and tall on creativity, looks like do-it-yourself is my best option.

In it's basic form, I need three things: cardio, strength training and a "balanced diet". I'd also like to include some flexibility and balance work.

My cardio program will have two parts - running and other. The other will include anything from learning to skateboard with Sadie to obstacle courses to dance classes to ice skating. I'd like to balance reallyhardstuff with lotsoffun in the "other" part.

Strength training is pretty self-explanatory. I just have to figure out the program.

The balanced diet part has always been difficult for me. For now, I'm just going to continue what I have been trying (and failing) to do - eating roughly 1500 calories a day.

 As for flexibility and balance - I'm thinking yoga videos.

I took a break from writing this just now to make lunch - and came out with some good ideas for installing the "boot camp" part of this whole dealio. Some things that are hard/not fun for me - keeping track of everything I'm eating and drinking enough water. I have decided to "punish" myself with jumping jacks and push-ups. If I wake up in the morning and realize I didn't track my food the day before - 50 jumping jacks. If I get the end of the evening and I haven't consumed, say 80 oz of water - 25 push-ups (which will be KILLER with my weak arms) and I need to add 10 oz to the next day. Ooh, and (just thought of this) - if I go over 1500 calories - then I'll 10 jumping jacks and 5 push-ups for every 100 calories over.

Usually I reward myself. Or at least set out to reward myself. I think I still may. I tend to lean toward being a positive reinforcer, but we'll see how the punishing goes.

Hmm. Let's set out the plan.

I'd like to do cardio 4-6 days a week.

I'd like to do strength training 3 days a week.

I'd like to do yogaish stuff once a week.

Since there are only seven days in a week and I need at least one day off, I'm going to have to double up.

Sooo, perhaps an ideal week would look like this:

Monday - Cardio (running) and strength training (arms)

Tuesday - Cardio (hard core boot camp style) and yoga

Wednesday - Cardio (running) and strength training (core)

Thursday - Fun cardio!

Friday - Cardio (running) and strength training (legs)

Saturday - Fun cardio!

Sunday - Day off. :)

I'll aim to make my cardio sessions 30 minutes to an hour long. I can, for the most part, do my strength training at home with videos or fitness magazines.

I can set up punishments for missing sessions, too. If I miss a cardio, I'll run around the outside of the house 10 times. If I miss a strength training or yoga session, I'll hold the plank pose for a total of 2 minutes.

Well, that was easy. I guess now we enter the hard part - following through. But if I do follow through - if I make it this whole week - with, let's say, less than 4 punishments - I need to figure out a non-expensive way to reward myself. Suggestions welcome!

Wish me luck!

I wonder what fun cardio thing Sadie and I should get into today . . .

*The picture above is extremely embarrassing for me to post. I guess it's how people around me see me everyday. But it's not how I see myself. It's time to remove my shell.

I'm doing it (still)!

This is a victory blog. And it is much needed because today has been a frustrating day. I realized, AFTER I sent out the resume and cover letter (that I had painstakingly poured over all day) that I'd missed a few typos. :( NOT cool.

But I'm going to forget that for the moment (and the night). Because I can't do anything about it.

Ok . . . letting go and letting God. Deep breath in (cough, cough). Now, exhale. Or sigh, at least.

There, I feel better, don't you? No? Well, who cares? You're not the one with all the typos!

But I digress.

I guess other than that it hasn't been such a bad day. I got to hang out with an all too intelligent four year old. He told me the "Boo-Hoo" Knock Knock Joke, but at the punchline instead of what I was used to hearing ("It's okay, don't cry. It's only a joke."), he exclaims, "Quit crying, ya baby!"

Heehee, still makes me giggle.

And, on a note totally unrelated to that but completely related to this blog, I'm losing weight!! 4 pounds so far!

No magic formula, no special diet. I've been counting calories (aiming for about 1500 per day) and exercising 3-5 times a week. My friend, Kristin, has starting working out with me. And that's been a huge motivator in the exercise department.

And - more good news! Andrea is coming to Maryland to visit me next weekend! I'M SO FREAKING EXCITED! She's only been here once, and that doesn't count because it was two years ago and it had to do with wedding planning stuff.

So, yay for healthy weight loss! And yay for best friends visiting!

Wow. I really do feel much better. OH! And another majorly cool thing that happened this week - Jermaine's AwesomeEpicRidiculouslyFabulous keyboard arrived! The picture above, as you may have surmised, is of Alex the Incredible and Mr. Keyboard Box.

Cheerio!

Days Schmays

Ha.

Yeah, so when I said a couple of days, it seems I meant, like, 40.

I'll try and work on that. ;)

Last semester, I was quite blogged down, in more ways than one. So, you see, I needed a bit of a break. Didn't realize how long of a break I would take, though! I blinked and it was March.

But I have good news! I'm actually doing it! I've been exercising and eating right and losing weight!

And I had an(other) epiphany a couple hours ago. This whole time, I've been thinking that this weight thing is out of my control in some way. Taking the role of a victim, of sorts. All of a sudden it hit me: This. Is. My. Choice.

I'm choosing to weigh (gasp) 183lbs. Absolutely choosing it by the choices I make everyday - whether I realize it or not. And I can just as easily choose to get fit!

And so, yeah. I'm gonna do that. :)

PS. I'm going to San Francisco in a week! And I have to blog about it (yay!). Soooo, check out my entries (and the entries of all the other amazingly cool people participating in ASB San Fran) here.

PPS. Setting small goals for myself. The first one: to be under 180 on the day I leave for California. I'll let you know how if I accomplish it!

I'm going to Forks!

So, I have this friend . . .

She's a bit of Twilight fanatic. I mean, I'm a Twilight fan. But, oh, letmetellyou, there is definitely a difference.

And she's not just my friend, she's my we-go-all-the-way-back-to-middle-school-only-we-hated-each-other-then best friend. And she's amazing. She's beautiful and funny and extremely high energy. She's a stay-at-home-and-home-school mother of three or four bouncing big boys. She put the extraordinary in Mommy Extraordinar[y]e. She's ridiculous. In the good way.

And in about a year and a half we both have to do the whole turning-30 thing. Sooo, we were planning some kind of fancy trip to commemorate the occasion [and our friendship].

I read Twilight over a year ago and to be honest, I wasn't that impressed [gasp! I know]. So when we began planning this whole thing we weren't sure where we'd go. She wanted to go to Forks, but knew I wasn't totally feeling it. However [dun, dun, dun], a short time later, I cracked open New Moon in preparation for the movie opening last fall [and because she said I couldn't go with her to see the movie if I didn't read it [yep, she's quite bossy]. Oh, but that was all it took. 140 pages in and I was hooked. Like hard core. Like, 9 straight hours of reading. As it turns out, it really is like a drug.

So! To Forks it is! Hurrah!

Alas, tho. It seems that our 30th birthday shindig coincides with her 10 year wedding anniversary. Boo. I mean, CONGRATULATIONS to them. But, really, who gets married when they're 20??

I kid.

Let me get to the fabulous part. She wants to go THIS year! Woohoo! Considering that I am SO an impatient child of the Digital Age, I hate waiting anyway!

And so, away we go!

In your intense cleverness, you may have surmised the whole big point here. I've got to get my butt [and the rest of me] in gear. So I can be fit and fabulous in case we run into any sparkly vampires while we're tooling around Washington. You know how I love things that sparkle.

Details regarding my latest plan coming soon. I think I'm going to try to blog every couple of days. We'll see how that goes.

PS. As luck would have it, we're going to be there on Stephanie Meyer weekend! And we're staying the Cullen House! Oh goodness. Andrea's going to turn me into a fanatic. :)

PPS. Also, I've been dreaming for a while of someday going to seminary at Mars Hill Graduate School in Seattle - and so, I'll have the chance to tour the school before we fly out on Monday, too!

I must wrap this up with a large guffaw and an even larger YAY GOD!!